Any case examples that I share here are completely anonymised.
Names and some case details are altered, disguised or changed to protect my clients’ absolute right to privacy.
Diagnoses are sometimes complicated I could have just as accurately called this particular Case Example "Self -Harm and Suicidal Ideation". However, my therapeutic belief is that getting to the root cause of any problem helps the client the most. In this case the cause is definitely Perinatal or Postpartum (also called Post-Natal) depression. This Case example may help you, but it is always advisable to seek appropriate medical assistance.
Evie is the 34-year-old mother of two toddlers. She felt that she had nothing left to live for after her husband left her two years ago. Her 8-year marriage came to an abrupt end when she discovered that her husband's stress had led him to infidelity.
We always look for initial triggers and in Evie's case these started five years ago soon after her first miscarriage. She had feelings of guilt about losing the child. She felt a lack of self worth and self love. Being alone during the marriage exacerbated things. She felt it all arose from the first time her husband started working late, and following his change of career to a new role that required many trips away, without her, his new job added to that initial trigger.
Evie first suspected his infidelity three years ago soon after she had her first child. This was also the time she had her first suicidal thought.
She started to self-harm. Self-harm can for some release pent up feelings such as anger and anxiety. Or even when people feel numb. That is what Evie described when we first spoke during our first consultation over a year ago.
Evie still has therapy. Her children are back in her care and she has moved in with her parents. She has not had suicidal thoughts for over a year now. Evie has not self-harmed since starting therapy.
Evie is making great progress and she is training to be a counsellor for women who suffer from perinatal or postpartum depression.
She and her ex-husband are amicable and he's looking to move back to be closer to their children. They are both currently single. She's not sure if she is ready to start a new relationship. However, she is extremely grateful that she understands her emotions now, rather than blaming herself for them.
She is also rightly proud of the fact that she is never afraid to ask for help.
"I have a new lease on life. It’s fascinating that until you understand what's is wrong with you, you can’t move on from it.
For the longest time, I felt I was being sucked into a hole or a swamp of mud and no matter how hard I tried to get out, I kept hurting myself desperate to get out of the feeling of being stuck.
I knew the more I tried to move - the more I was hurting myself.
No one could rescue me because I stayed silent in my torturous thoughts. It’s difficult to explain. But you feel useless - like there’s nothing anyone can do and you feel like a fool asking for help.
I mean motherhood made me felt like I was stuck. If I asked for help I felt I was not worthy to be a mother. What's the point?
Belynder has helped me understand so much, in more ways than she will ever realize. Because of her I am training to be a counsellor. She saved me. She rescued me from sinking.
Thank you Belynder. Thank you with all my heart. I have my children with me now because of you."
Evie, USA
What is the difference between Perinatal, Post-Natal or Postnatal and Post-partum depression?
Peri simply means 'around' in Latin and Natal means birth.
So Perinatal would cover the whole time frame from just before conception to after the birth of a child and can include the period after a miscarriage.
Post-natal and Post-partum depression are the same thing.
Speaking purely from a technical, medical point of view then Post means after (in this case the birth) and normally Post-partum refers to issues with the mother and Postnatal refers to the baby.
However English is a constantly evolving language and the terms are now inter-changeable.
You can hear me on UK Health Radio speaking about issues directly related to this article.
"Belynder Walia psychoterapist and founder of Serene Lifestyles speaks about her loss story, the emotional and psychological impact of miscarriage and pregnancy loss"
- UK Health Radio