Jag
Any case examples that I share here are completely anonymised. Names and some case details are altered, disguised or changed to protect my clients’ absolute right to privacy.
If you are dealing with anger or grief and want help to heal and move through it – this Case example may help you.
An existing client recommended me to Jag. Her friend was deeply concerned about her. Jag, although somewhat apathetic about it, agreed to speak with me.
A quiet woman, she seemed tense and discouraged. Interestingly there was an underlying agitation to her words, her voice and her manner.
The agitation alerted me and indicated that there was more to this situation than the presenting issue of her getting irritated and frustrated too much of the time.
Investigating a little more it became clear that there was real anger that she was attempting to suppress and it was driving her agitation.
1. Strategy
At this stage I have a free phone call with a potential client so that we can discuss strategies for healing their issues.
My magical Psychotherapist’s Toolbox is Mary Poppins-like in terms of containing many options depending on the clients’ exact needs.
Options can include:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
Hypnotherapy
Solution Focused Therapy (SFT) also known as Brief Therapy
Relational Therapy
And of course the fact that I am qualified in a wide range of therapies to assist clients to breakthrough negative thinking patterns.
But in this instance we decided that CBT or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy along with reflection self-psychology to put the power back into her own hands was most appropriate for Jags
2. Treatment
Looking into the cause of Jag’s anger I discovered that very shortly after Jags had given birth to her own first child she had lost her mother.
She was immensely frustrated because she felt that she needed her mother to guide her in how to be a good mother herself.
Losing your mother at a crucial and life-changing moment is confusing and devastating enough without being overwhelmed by anger at the woman who has ‘let you down’. Grief is a complex mix of emotions and guilt can confuse them further.
Jag was unable to get the support, advice and praise she sought – which would have come from her mother under normal circumstances.
The loss of her mother had left her stuck.
Self-Reflective psychology is a meta cognitive ability and as such it can truly help to move a stuck client on to a happier place quickly.
Along with CBT tailored for Jags we managed in just 6 short sessions to change her outlook and her confidence in her ability to deal with her own challenges, along with giving her a sense of peace instead of anger, irritation and frustration. She also obtained some psychological tools through the self-reflection to see that there were other issues that had been triggered by her mother’s death.
Jags showed a remarkable ability to adapt to her new life as a mother while grieving for her own.
Once Jags realised that the circumstances of the events and the loss were out of her hands, she did a stellar job of being a mother herself. She was able to move on with her life without the constant prolonged anger making her feel she was not worthy.
The guilt was relieved and both she and her son are thriving.
“My first actual contact with Belynder was a verbal chat.
Within 10 mins, she was able to hit the nail on the head regarding what my inner demon could be. It really got me thinking and I had never linked my feelings of frustration to this, instead she put it down to the bereavement and dealing with life without my mother and with me looking after a small baby.
My actual session was very emotional and for weeks after I felt different, more aware and became more present. I realised my issues were much deeper and from a young age. However, my bereavement triggered it off. I feel much more emotionally at peace and for me the key was being present and in control.
I would totally recommend Belynder as even if you don’t think you need therapy, just make contact and have your initial chat.”
